nil by mouth

so much has gone unsaid
that there is now
nothing left to say.

i sew my lips shut
with these words

-letters left ticking around my neck-

it took me a whole cigarette
to decide
i don’t believe in eternity

but it still felt like forever
waiting for you to call

[to tell me just what
i knew you would say].

i am mersmerised by the impeccable logic
of our bodies
the way they come apart beside each other
like some pathetic opera

my hand
in
your hand

you kiss my wrists
& spill tears over the version of myself
that understands:

there is nothing more perfect
than what one has
just lost.